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Lesli Brower on Father’s Day: ‘My father chose to walk away’

Will this presidential election be the most important in American history?

By Lesli Brower

Father’s Day came and went and I avoided Facebook for most of the day like the plague for fear of having to read the stories about everyone’s wonderful, loving, “heroic” dad.

For the past month I have taken the longer route to the checkout line at the grocery store to avoid the card aisle because the thought of enduring the Father’s Day cards screaming in my face conjured up a flood of emotions that were just too much to bear. As in every year, my emotions about this day flip on and off like a light switch between anger, sadness, regret and empowerment.

Strange entry for Father’s Day, huh? You see, my father chose to walk away and not be a part of my life or that of my two siblings after my parents’ divorce when I was 10. And for years I needlessly carried the shame and burden of his actions.

Before you engage in a rant about the depravity of divorce, I firmly believe that it is the parents’ individual choice and actions toward their children that, in the end, ultimately make the difference. And before you further contest this fact, ask the young girls in the inner-city neighborhoods who have sold their soul for drugs and sex to fulfill the void of not having a father at all in their lives what they think. Confront a prostitute or a pimp and discover the root of their evils. Visit a male inmate, of whom 70% grew up in fatherless homes, and ask them how the path that led them there was greatly influenced by the lack of a father figure in their lives. Or listen to my neighbor, who works at a boys’ group home, lament about the boys acting out a hundred-fold each time their parents are supposed to come for visits or counseling and who fail to show up day in and day out. Parents – fathers – make a difference.

As a conservative, I am a staunch supporter of self-responsibility. This shouldn’t be confused with perfection, however, as no one expects perfection from any one father. What I do expect, however, is responsibility. Regardless of whether you are pro-choice or pro-life (I happen to be pro-life), from the moment of conception the two adults instantly make the decision in how a child’s life will be influenced. Thus, aside from the horrors of rape, two consenting adults instantly morph into two parents. BE that parent.

I can’t speak for the entire world, only myself, but I am certain my experience spawns a plethora of tales of sorrow beyond our wildest imaginations.

For me, however, not having a father meant looking in the mirror on thousands of occasions and wondering what made me unlovable. It meant being the only child in class making a Father’s Day card for her mother instead of her absent father. It meant feeling abandoned and unworthy. It meant being a statistic. It meant walking through a messy life with a broken perspective about self, life, love. It meant always experiencing a twinge of internal loss that ranged from the extreme punch in the stomach to a mere pinch. It felt like spending each day with one shoe always untied.

Before you feel sorry for me, know this. I was blessed with a strong, educated mother who picked up the slack and selflessly assumed both parental roles. She is the one who taught me independence, strength, resourcefulness, self-responsibility on every level and the ability to think for myself. And under her love and tutelage I grew into a self-reliant, independent and free-thinking woman.

All is not lost – I survived. However, I implore all fathers, regardless of your circumstances, to be proactive in changing our children, our future, and our world.

End the cycle of neglect, poverty, hopelessness, despair, faceless statistics, low self-esteem, crime, drugs, welfare, wedlock babies and the never-ending list of atrocities that find their roots in the absence of a father. Make a difference. BE a dad.

Lesli Brower is a conservative activist, wife and mom of four children. She serves on the West Chester Tea Party board in West Chester, Ohio.

Deneen Borelli

Deneen Borelli is the author of Blacklash: How Obama and the Left are Driving Americans to the Government Plantation. Deneen is a contributor with Newsmax Broadcasting. She is a former Fox News contributor and has appeared regularly on “Hannity,” “Fox & Friends,” “Your World with Neil Cavuto,” and “America’s Newsroom.” She has also appeared on Fox Business Network programs “Making Money with Charles Payne,” “The Evening Edit with Liz MacDonald,” and “Cavuto: Coast to Coast.” Previously, Deneen appeared on MSNBC, CNN, the BBC and C-SPAN. In addition to television, Deneen co-hosted radio programs on the SiriusXM Patriot channel with her husband Tom. Recently, Deneen co-hosted the Reigniting Liberty podcast with Tom. Deneen is a frequent speaker at political events, including the FreedomWorks 9.12.2009 March on D.C. which drew a crowd estimated at over 800,000 people. Deneen is also an Ambassador with, a social media platform that promotes free speech, and with the America First Policy Institute (AFPI) which advances policies that put Americans first. Deneen testified before the U.S. House of Representatives Committee on Natural Resources in May 2011 and before the Ohio House Public Utilities Committee in December 2011. Previously, Deneen was a host, Outreach Director with overseeing its outreach program, a Project 21 Senior Fellow, and Manager of Media Relations with the Congress of Racial Equality (CORE). Prior to joining CORE, Deneen worked at Philip Morris USA for 20 years. During her corporate career at Philip Morris she worked in various positions, her last as Project Management Coordinator in the Information Management department where she was responsible for the department’s mandated quality processes, communications, sales information and database management. Deneen began her Philip Morris career as a secretary and advanced to positions of increasing responsibilities. Deneen worked full-time and attended classes at night for 11 years to earn her B.A. in Managerial Marketing from Pace University, New York City. Deneen served on the Board of Trustees with The Opportunity Charter School in Harlem, New York. She appeared in educational videos for children, worked as a runway fashion model, and auditioned for television commercials. Her interests include ancient history, pistol target shooting, photography, and volunteering at her church. Deneen currently resides in Connecticut with her husband Tom.

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